nia-glow-blog

PUSH 'N PULL - the dance of Vulnerability & Defensiveness

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 09:59:19 +0100

Yet again I have been dancing through life with physical immobility due to recovery from surgery [a groin hernia]. I did not lightly go under the scalpel. It was a challenge to find my way towards a peaceful acceptance of the necessity of surgery. I entered the hospital as if in a dream, watching this story with its interesting characters play out. My vulnerability was palpable to me, in this foreign world [I birthed both my daughters at home and thus had very little hospital [or even doctor] experience in the last decade and a half]. I relaxed into softness and trusted the strength in this. Reluctant to wake out of anaesthetic, I heard myself say “no I don’t want to leave my friends”. It's amusing to wonder who these companions I was in no rush to leave could have been!? [I'm thinking along the lines of little green men ... angelic beings ... I don't know ;) ] Later as complications and difficulties arose I relinquished what I simply could not control. The baseline of my emotional experience was a returning to Peace [a Nia brown belt practice].

If I thought I had been in a strange land, post-surgery, in a different situation, I got thrown a curve ball which proved to be the limit of my vulnerability. Disoriented and confused, I flashed fearfully and desperately into defensiveness and blame. It took time to peel away out-dated beliefs and find a way to an emerging truth. Eventually confusion transmuted into Mystery. Fascination replaced judgement. I received the Gift. I was nudged into humility and acceptance of my and others' current emotional skillfulness.

Sometimes I cannot understand it all, I can simply accept that I am deeply touched by an experience. This is not easy for me, my mind wants to dig in and analyse. Instead I can be energised and inspired according to how I receive the Gift. Each day I can choose afresh to surrender to loving and living the questions [a la Rilke].

It is humbling to see the places where I am very threatened by feelings of vulnerability and thus reflexively cover up or opt for provocation. Some places are still so terrifying that their only life is in the dark and outwardly my defences hang on.

The lessons I learn in Intimacy unfold simultaneously in my various relationships. There’s an exchange with a stranger in a lift, my ten year old daughter sees me openly cry and we both find ease with my humanness. There’s the evolving character of my over-a-decade long marriage which is in a new season of deeper sharing, understanding and tolerance. There are all the unavoidable and mundane exchanges which become touched by a more present and relaxed quality in me. There is the reconciliation with my daughter's school teacher [who had questioned my parenting approach] when she admits to the hurts in her psyche. I explain my philosophical choice neither to live from a wounded place nor raise my children to be defended. It looks like this gives her something to consider and I more compassionately understand where her criticism stemmed from.

***

My daily living recently includes the experience of the Beloved, in various forms, touching me in tender Magical ways. In this realm I am shrouded in the presence of love and my life seems to unfold effortlessly and mysteriously so. There is no need for the push and pull, for fighting for what I want or do not want. What is important happens in the flow of my being.

What’s next my Beloved? Where will I meet you today? In which tree, in which smell, in which gaze, what piece of art, what act of connection …? What am I to see today? I ready myself for the Mystery …

***

“There is only one romance, the Soul’s” W. B. Yeats

“What if Life is the Sweetheart” Willa Cather

“For me nothing is so exciting as imagining that Life is my lover, and is always courting me” Julie Hendeson

What should I do If love seizes me? Start dancing of course! Sweep love into your arms And press her to your chest When particles of dust Are touched by the sun They spread their arms and start whirling… To music no one can hear - Rumi

Who, if I cried, would hear me among the angelic

Orders? And even if one of them suddenly

pressed me against his heart, I should fade in the strength of his

stronger existence. For Beauty’s nothing

but beginning of Terror we’re still just able to bear,

and why we adore it so is because it serenely

disdains to destroy us. Each single angel is terrible.

And so I keep down my heart, and swallow the call-note

of depth-dark sobbing. Alas, who is there

we can make use of? Not angels, not men;

and already the knowing brutes are aware

that we don’t feel very securely at home

within our interpreted world. - Rainer Maria Rilke "The First Elegy"

The Universe, John Travolta & the Nia class:

Sun, 04 Sep 2011 22:22:13 +0100

Victoria Bruce's amusing blog http://networkedblogs.com/l3bY3

Oh dear, I think have concussion. I am the type of person the universe has to hit repeatedly over the head with a 2x4 to make a point. By the time the message hits home I have a pounding headache and have to thank said universe for the invention of Myprodol. Tonight the universe must be sighing with relief and saying, “At last! I thought she’d never get it!”

This morning I took myself to a Nia dance class. On the spur of the moment and not at all like I’ve been tripping over Nia dance instructors for months. My colleague’s partner happens to be one. She happens to be friends with a friend of mine who is one. I happened to read my friend’s Nia blog and repost a quote. All of a sudden a Facebook friend who is a journalist about all things cool and amazing in my city happens to mention that she’d like to cover a class. “Oh hell!” said my subconscious, “It’s about time you went back.”

My subconscious was right. I went to a few classes a year ago, but my back was so painful at the slightest movement I didn’t return. Now that I have a new lease on life, it is high time I started thanking my body for healing.

The thing is, after years of nursing back pain I’m not exactly the fittest person out there. Neither am I particularly well co-ordinated. But I do love to dance, usually when the children are asleep and I can pop in my iPod and cavort across the garden in the moonlight like some erratic and slightly mad Wiccan priestess.

I arrived at the class today with some trepidation only to be warmly greeted by Mia, the instructor for the morning. Suddenly, I didn’t feel quite so uneasy. There is something very disarming about a heartfelt welcome by a woman who uncannily resembles Minnie Driver.

The rest of the class was equally as charming, all age groups, all body types and all of us a little too self-aware at the start. And those mirrors? My God, I never realised I have such skinny little toothpick legs – GAH! I looked for all the world like a stick man among real, flesh and blood people. Or an anaemic giraffe, only with less grace.

Periodically my husband quotes Shakespeare at me, with varying degrees of success. One of which he is particularly fond is “My mistresses eyes are nothing like the sun”. For some reason this does not make me feel good about myself at all, but I digress. To quote a line, “My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground”. Nia instructors don’t tread. They glide. They ooze like golden honey over a hot waffle.

With all these hang-ups why did I choose Nia at all? Because it embraces people with hang-ups and instead of competing with terrifying leotard-clad aerobicisers, it’s all about finding your body in your space. I’ve been so hung up on my lower back that I seem to have forgotten I have a body at all. It’s not exhausting, it’s exhilarating. It’s like yoga in movement.

Although we all started cold and very conscious of everyone else, it wasn’t long before we were relaxing into the music and the movement. It was with something approaching envy I watched the other more seasoned veterans embrace the space they were in and they fluid movement of their bodies. Beauty has nothing to do with being thin and everything to do with accepting your body, imperfections and all.

By the time I left John Travolta had nothing on me. I was feeling limber and joyful. I didn’t feel like a great awkward galumph anymore. My body aches, but pleasantly, because it’s all about listening to what your body needs, how it needs to move and when it’s had enough. Admittedly, around mid-afternoon I succumbed to the need for a long nap and in a little while a long, hot bath.
It beats Bootcamp hands down. I am damned if I’m going to pay some muscled lothario in combat gear to yell at me. I am very aware of my fitness shortcomings thank you very much and I don’t need them yelled across the Northern suburbs. Although, my boys seem to thrive on it and by the time I picked them up were on an adrenalin high that has yet to wear off.

Today Nia.
Tomorrow So You Think You Can Dance?
Or maybe Strictly Ballroom?

If you feel like giving it a try, go to www.niaglow.co.za
Come on, it'll do you good to try something new.

The Purpose of Dance - Enjoying the Moment - in Recovery from whiplash

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 13:48:27 +0100

Updated at the bottom of this post:
"When you dance, your purpose is not to get to a certain place on the floor. It's to enjoy each step along the way" - Wayne Dyer

I just read this quote on Nia Technique's facebook page ... I am sitting here, upright with my laptop positioned at eye-level. I am in recovery from whiplash.  A little amused by this quote, I breathe a sigh of release as I am reminded that I am dancing through life even in this physically inactive moment.

A 4x4 [SUV] driver smashed into my car rear.

My body knows how to heal.

Day 2 - My Body Stress Release practitioner told me my back muscles felt like a brick wall to touch. I was not feeling too much pain.  Day 6 - Feeling more pain as my muscles are letting go. Day 7 - Being easy on my body and rushing nowhere. Going Nowhere Slowly.

Enjoying every step along the way. Trusting the healing process. The Dance of the Moment.  Grateful for the substitute teachers who are teaching my classes. Enjoying this time scrolling around facebook ;-)

Aha! Savouring the moment. The Moment that is always here. The same beauty. It is just as inspiring as when I am on that dance floor. The light landing on the floor in shuttered patterns. Bird sounds filterring in. The muffled noise of suburban traffic. Charlie Brown, our chocolate labrador, barking at passersby. And inbetween, there is the Stillness. And Grace.

My breath is dancing me. My breath is dancing my healing ... my shoulders are relaxing, my neck is softening, my chest is moving in a rhythm.
My breath is dancing my body.
My breath is dancing.

Day 8 - I'm finding that to relieve the ache in my lower back - swaying my hips and tail bone is great. I'm walking around my office like a weirdo swaying those hips while speaking on the phone.  My body somehow is yearning to dance the Nia clock step with this hip sway.  In my office, no music, with feel-good loose joints, the 'sway' and attention on the "smile line" from hip to hip - I am experiencing the healing tonic of Nia movement. Later when I walk into my singing teacher's studio, she laughs at what she calls the "Marilyn Monroe walk". And yet basically these movements are about creating ease and comfort in my lower back!

Day 9 - I've been giving thought to what I was thinking just before that car crashed into mine. I was thinking about making some changes in my life. About filling myself up more. I had not yet given myself permission to make these changes. Hmmm ... interesting! Now I have time to give it all serious thought and to institute these changes in my lifestyle.

My breath is dancing me.

Day 11 - I am seeing and feeling light at the end of the tunnel :) I have gone for an afternoon walk in Emmarentia Park the last 2 days. That disconcerting strange deep ache through my back has gone and now I only have some moments of feeling jarred or tender. I am feeling confident to move about more!

Day 12 - The Body Stress Practitioner advises me to rather have another week of as much bedrest as possible. Even though most of the worst pain has gone, my body is still needing to do more healing work. Oh ... okay.

My breath is dancing me. My breath is dancing the healing.

Trusting the healing process. Savouring the moment. Thanking my body for the good job it is doing.

Day 14 - Pain and discomfort comes and goes. I am feeling angry at the woman who slammed her car into mine. Our daughters go to the same school. The accident happened a few blocks away from the school as we both left school after having dropped our daughters off.  I feel all my emotions. I cry.

I return to Peace. My breath is dancing me. My body is healing. I choose Peace.

Day 18 - I go to my first Nia class since the accident. Standing in the back row I move gently. Doing Nia is easier on my back than walking through a shopping mall!

My breath is dancing my healing.

A COUPLE MONTHS AFTER THE ACCIDENT: I bumped into the woman who crashed her car into mine and I shared with her the trauma of the accident's repercussions. Later that day she arrived at my home with a bunch of flowers and a card.

Life As Art- Altering our Perception to Sense Beauty

Mon, 30 May 2011 06:57:40 +0100

As I've been driving through the suburbs and walking in the park, the brilliant Autumn show on display all around me has had the effect of calming down my nervous system and slowing down my breathing. Read Allison Wright's blog below which describes the "Life as Art" aspect of Nia White Belt Principle no 5: Awareness. - Carmen

http://allisonwrightsblog.wordpress.com/ April 6, 2011

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” – Dr.Wayne Dyer

Anyone who has ever taken a drawing class is likely to relate to the Nia concept called Life As Art. In most high school and college drawing classes, you’re given a still life or model and asked to sketch the object from different points of view. Depending on where you stand, what you see could be very different than what the person across from you sees. Shift your point of view and what you see shifts with it. In Nia, we have a similar perspective practice called “Life As Art.”

In Life As Art, we alter our perception to sense beauty. Ultimately, altering our perception is a function of opening our awareness to receive the countless sources of pleasure and beauty around us. A great story I have about this comes from my daily walk to work at Nia’s International Headquarters…

On average, it takes me about fifteen minutes to walk to HQ. While I vary my route day-to-day, if it is raining, I take the fast route down Park Avenue. Now if you know Portland at all, you know it rains all the time. Consequently, I have had countless opportunities to become familiar with this particular path! About two months after I moved here, I remember walking down Park Avenue past the same maple tree I always walked past, however something was different this time. This time around, I saw the thick scaly chunks of wood that formed the “skin” of the tree and the majestical quality its height commanded. My eyes received the orchestra of colors and observed the rich veins protruding from each leaf. Despite how many times I’d seen this tree before, I felt like I was seeing it for the very first time. In some ways, I think I was….

What I was sensing was life as art. I was attentive to the nuances, perceiving and receiving the gifts the present moment had to offer me. What’s more, it brought me great pleasure to do so! I walked off to work feeling recharged, relaxed, and energized by the experience of witnessing the world around me.

Beauty abounds us. Whether or not we see it depends on the quality of our awareness, our perspective. What is it that allows something to bring us pleasure one day and not another? How come two people can look at the same thing and describe it completely differently? Awareness is a primary factor in the answer to these questions. Life As Art invites us to sense reality through an artistic lens, curious and fascinated by the continuous unfolding of beauty around us.

Marianne Williamson, one of the primary authors responsible for popularizing A Course In Miracles sums it up best: ”A miracle is a shift in perception.”

Further Reading: If this concept rocks your world and you’re interested in the science behind it, pick up “The Elegant Universe” by Dr. Brian Greene, Professor of physics and mathematics at Columbia University.

Shamanic Dance

Tue, 03 May 2011 18:20:21 +0100

”in many shamanic societies, if you came to a medicine person complaining of being disheartened, dispirited, or depressed, they would ask one of four questions.

when did you stop dancing?
when did you stop singing?
when did you stop being enchanted by stories?
when did you stop finding comfort in the sweet territory of silence? "

~ gabrielle roth

Nia dancer's comments "Nia gives me something very special: the ability to completely get ...

Thu, 03 Mar 2011 03:27:54 +0100

"This morning I attended a beautiful, energetic and life affirming Nia class at forty weeks pregnant....because I could! Part of the incredible beauty of this particular form of movement is that it will always meet me exactly where I am: if I want to work up a super-energetic sweat, that’s available, but so is a more gentle, flowing approach for quieter days. If I want to get funky and interesting, that’s great, but so is a simple focus on the basic movements. To me, this is what distinguishes Nia from all other dance forms: it is so completely personal, forgiving and non-judgemental.

I’ve always loved dancing, and do participate in other dance forms (when not pregnant, of course!), but I find that Nia gives me something very special: the ability to completely get out of my head, not worry about what I look like, and just BE. It is so freeing and so much fun that I never suspect I am actually working out – until the better body tone just sneaks up on me!" - Tracy Robinson, Nia dancer

Thank you Tracy for sharing your experience. You have been an inspiration to all of us dancing with you through a healthy, graceful and energetic pregnancy! When I see you in class I am happy-for-you 'envious' that I hadn't discovered Nia yet during my pregnancies. I wish you much joy and dancing through life in this new chapter of yours - being a mother! - Carmen

Men benefit from Nia too!! "There they were – 33 doormen, maintenance men, engineers, ...

Thu, 10 Feb 2011 19:06:02 +0100

"... When the building manager asked me to lecture on the benefits of exercise at his staff meeting, I agreed but insisted on giving everyone a Nia class in order to practice all the points in my lecture. I described the benefits of exercise in Nia language (the 5 Sensations, 13 joints, 200 bones, 700 muscles, pleasure principle, etc.) and showed them several ways they can create stability in their spine and joints while on the job. I talked about how to lift packages and open doors for residents with safe alignment, the plume atop the crown of the head, and the benefits of shaking and hanging during a break..."

Lynett Putterman has been teaching Nia since 2002 in Chicago, Illinois and Chesterton, Indiana.

Read more at http://nianow.com/story/2011/02/nia-on-the-high-rise

Poetry in Motion - is very much the Nia way

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 07:52:21 +0100

"Movement is a vital celebration of life. It is a way to proclaim your own existence and relish in the joy of being alive.

Our bodies love movement. When we stretch or dance, our bodies adjust, realign and start to become fluid with the rhythm of life. Our mood lifts and we feel more connected with the world around us..."

read more at http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2011/26715.html

A Nia student's comments "what I love about Nia"

Tue, 08 Feb 2011 09:31:36 +0100

"I started Nia a few years ago with Carmen after I retired from teaching. Like many people I had always been too busy to say this is for me. What I love about Nia is there are no barriers for age, gender or two left feet, I have made good friends since joining and Carmen must be one of the most encouraging people on the planet. Thank you for letting me remember that age is only a number." Hilary

A Nia dancer's comments "given me the confidence to love my body"

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 19:53:44 +0100

Tanya Jane Sutton discovered Nia last year and I recently received an email from her with these touching words. She gave me permission to quote her here.

" ... I know that I NEED Nia in order to maintain a level of sanity and to feed my soul. I used to be a professional dancer, so many lifetimes ago, and have let myself go to such an extent that I was always afraid of re-entering the somewhat “snobby” world of dancing again. Nia, and more specifically, you have given me the confidence to love my body and to keep on dancing through life, doing something I always loved, with the freedom to be who I want to be. A most heartfelt THANK YOU for introducing me to my body once again! It was a long separation ...

I URGE any fence-sitters to get up and move themselves through Nia, as a way of rewarding their bodies for all the hard work they do on a daily basis. We only have one body and it is the greatest instrument we will ever own. I read somewhere ... “We don’t HAVE a soul. We ARE a soul. We HAVE a body.” ... so it stands to reason that when we treat our body, we feed our soul ... "

Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts Tanya. I am very fortunate as a Nia teacher to meet wonderful people who come and dance and play with me. I LOVE this about my "job" !! :)

And Thank You Nia for giving us the space to become whole together - Carmen